In July 2023, I began sharing stories I had collected while caddying - the best job in the world.
As we kick off 2024, I intend to share a lot more, having carefully documented every golfer, caddie and local I encountered during an incredible summer season. Every Sunday I will post the next phase of the journey.
Maybe one day, these Sunday Substack entries will morph into a book. Maybe they already have. Depending on the success of these short extracts, you could be reading first editions of a future must-read for caddies everywhere. We must have a dream, after all.
It’s a brisk morning on the Eastern Coast of Canada. Standing on the 5th fairway of the Cliffs course, you are elevated above the rest of the opening six holes. Brown reeds and fescue grass are ducking beneath the wind gusts, golf balls are hurried off the green by the invisible hand of the breeze, huge bunkers rise up from all sides daring you to aim away from them. A lone fisherman observes us from the other side of the water.
Part One
Bryan and I have made a good start, and are still on speaking terms after four holes. We have 157 yards to the 5th flag after a fine tee shot, slightly downhill and windy. We would say this shot is ‘playing the number’, meaning after all calculations, the wind and downhill cancel out. The trusty 7 iron is his self-professed ‘165 club’.
“Perfect. Let’s go for that” I said.
*Expert caddie insight incoming*
The reason I allow this is two-fold:
Firstly; it is early in the round, the time to gain the golfer’s trust but not flat out disagree with them. Secondly, on this particular hole, being short of the green is better than long, and due to the fact that everyone over-estimates their yardages, it’s a safe play.
Anyway, Bryan hits it right out of the screws, soaring onto the front portion of the green with a hint of cut spin - cause for celebration all around. I’ve witnessed many a lost ball on this particular hole.
The ball is probably 25 feet short of the flag still, as I approach the green I figure that this shot travelled about 150 yards. Great result, time to walk ahead and get the read.
Mental note: 7 iron is more like the 155 club.
Part Two
Before long, the par five 10th hole presents us with a 144 number, likely requiring a 155 shot due to that same hurting breeze - and I confidently suggest the 7 iron.
I am met with:
“my 7 iron goes 165, that’s too much club”.
I have deduced that most (not all) golfers have little idea on their actual yardages. The distance you hit a ball at elevation, in summer weather, with what I call the ego multiplier of 3-5% (a caddie law I will eventually label as my own) will differ from the distance you hit it today.
Today, we are at sea level, with a breeze, and it’s 65 degrees Fahrehneit (18 degrees Celsius). And there is no room for ego in Links golf.
This particular hole has a chasm in front of the green, sending golf balls to a watery grave. It is the caddie’s job to take as many precautions as possible to avoid this.
I stay fairly still with golf bag on shoulder; and suggest helpful things like
“long is fine, short is no good”.
But remember; we’re not here to argue, we can only coax and nudge. If these do not register, hard luck. So even though it’s likely not enough club, I regrettably allowed the 8 iron to be pulled instead.
I watch, now helpless, as Bryan lashes at the 8 iron, asking just slightly too much of it, turning the ball over with hook spin and finishing in the front left bunker. Tough leave. We get out of there with a bogey.
Part Three
Amazingly, a chance to redeem myself springs up on the back nine – when we have 146 yards to the par three 14th hole and into the wind. Like all well-designed courses, the prevailing wind affects you on most holes, and the 14th is a special case where the wind swirls.
It’s 137 yards to clear the trouble in front, so Bryan needs a 150 shot for the pin in these conditions. I try once again with the 155 call, hoping and praying we can agree on a smooth 7 iron.
After some gentle nudging, coaxing and stern suggestions that an 8 iron may come up short – which is bad, remember the 10th - we commit to ‘an easy 7 iron’ which every caddie knows is just a normal 7 iron. He works in Washington D.C., and compromise is the essence of diplomacy, after all.
The swing is good; the ball shoots off the face, right on line. A good bounce takes it left and onto the dancefloor. One of my favourite things to do here is present the golfer with his putter while still on the tee; they can enjoy the saunter up to the green.
After that shot, we have six feet for birdie. Bryan makes it. This is followed by a boost in confidence, trust – and hitting the last four greens in regulation in a row for a pretty good back nine score.
Coming up 18, Bryan turns to me and asks if it is usually windy here on Cape Breton Island.
As the tide swells and crashes only metres behind us and the stiff breeze almost whisks my answer away; I say ‘yes, this is pretty standard!’
Bryan says, ‘it’s actually better when you swing easier’.
My work here is done.
*For obvious reasons, when I tell stories from caddying I will alter the real names. Let’s pretend caddie-client privilege is a thing.*
At the end of each entry – I’ll share three memorable statistics in a random summer week – taken from my notes gathered while caddying.
Week Ending July 30th 2023:
- Most steps in a day: 35,429
- Heaviest bag: 13kg, guy brought 24 new golf balls. It got lighter as we played.
- Misreads: 2 (and they still haunt me, which is why I made a note of them)
Stay tuned, see you next Sunday.
Patrick Brennan
21st January 2024
P.S. I caddied for Bryan on all three rounds during his stay, one of which was a 7am tee time in the wind and rain. We had a lot of fun.
In Case You Missed It - About the Author:
I grew up playing links golf in England from the age of 12; got down to a respectable six handicap at age 17, then continued to follow the game while university degrees, rugby, a pandemic, and moving halfway across the world took priority.
After graduating university in 2021, I took the path less travelled and flew to Montreal, Canada, before driving, skiing, golfing and rafting my way through British Columbia in 2022 and early 2023.
A once-in-a-lifetime road trip commenced; through a couple of Canadian provinces and twenty-two American States which allowed us (my resilient partner Megan) to make it over to the miniscule town of Inverness, Cape Breton Island, Nova Scotia.
Encapsulating one summer season, written by a self-appointed golf sicko whose golf knowledge, passion and understanding far supersedes his ability to play the game, making me the ideal coach, or in this case – caddie.